DECEMBER 2016




Joke only or is it?

Donald Trump:The World loves a clown! (Stiglich/Creators.com)



 

Resigned from accepting that Donald Trump is the new U.S. President come January 20, 2017, I found solace in laughter (The best medicine!). Here sharing with you some of the funny lines to come out of the late Comedy Shows nights after the Nov. 8 elections. (EDITOR)

Thank you! Thank you!

“President-elect Donald Trump gave a big victory speech,” Jimmy Fallon said on “The Tonight Show.” “He said he couldn’t have done it without the love of his life, his rock, his better half---FBI Director James Comey.”

In that speech, Trevor Noah of “The Daily Show” said, “Trump was gracious, he was humble, he was compassionate. I’ll tell you now, if THAT GUY would have run for president — he also would have lost to Donald Trump!”

“Washington, Lincoln, Roosevelt, Kennedy, Reagan, Obama and now Trump — one of these things is not like the other,” said Noah. “And if you’re thinking it’s Obama because he’s black, you probably voted for Trump.”

“If the morning after the election you finally woke up from a coma, well, you might want to go back,” continued Trevor Noah.

 

Collegial understanding

First Lady in waiting (cartoon: Sack/Star Tribune)

 

Stephen Colbert said on CBS’s “Late Show” pointed a finger elsewhere: “If your child asks the ultimate question, Why do bad things happen to good people?, you finally have the answer: the Electoral College.”

And here is another take from James Corden of the “Late Late Night Show”: “So many people protested the results of the election. I saw some tweets that said this election is a total sham and a travesty, the Electoral College is a disaster, and we should wage revolution.”

The surprising part — this was all from Donald Trump’s Twitter feed after he saw Mitt Romney being creamed by President Obama at the 2012 election. So technically, all of those Trump protesters actually agree with Trump. See, we’re already coming together.

Libertarian Party blues

“When Hillary Clinton found out on Nov. 9 that she lost, she conceded with grace and dignity," reported James Corden, on CBS’s “Late Late Show." "When Gary Johnson found out he lost, he was like, ‘Wait, the election was yesterday?’ ”

Jimmy Fallon on the Next-First Lady

While President Obama met with Donald Trump, First Lady Michelle Obama met privately with Melania Trump. Michelle said, “It’s a pleasure to welcome you and Donald to the White House.” Melania replied, “It is a pleasure to welcome you and Donald to the White House.”

So, Michelle actually had a nice time showing Melania around, although it got weird when they walked into the Lincoln Bedroom and Melania said, “Wow, what a lovely closet.”
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“Jimmy Kimmel Live” on the same subject

It was another interesting day in America today. The transfer of power has already begun at the White House this morning. President Obama sat down with President-elect Trump, but Trump did a funny thing. He came in and said, “You’re fired.”
They were to meet for 15 minutes, but it was 90 minutes. Trump had questions for Obama, like “How the hell do I get out of this?”

While their husbands were talking, the first lady met with soon-to-be first lady Melania Trump. Michelle said, “Welcome to the White House, Mrs. Trump.” And Melania said, “Welcome to the White House, Mrs. Trump.”
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Finally, Colbert on this subject: “Of course, Trump wasn’t alone. Melania was there for a private meeting with Michelle Obama, to ensure the peaceful transition of speeches.”
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Rigged! Rigged!

“Republicans hope Trump will keep his promise to build a wall, and Democrats hope he’ll keep his promise not to accept the election results,” said Fallon.

“We have to accept that Donald Trump will be the 45th president of the United States,” Stephen Colbert said. “I just want to keep saying it until I can say it without throwing up in my mouth a little bit.”
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Skipping town?

Canada is not an option, Colbert said: “You don’t get to flee to another country when things get rough here. Being an American citizen is like family. You’re in it whether you like it or not. I mean, for Pete’s sake, at Thanksgiving when Uncle Ernie hits the highballs and starts saying racist things about the help, you don’t storm off from the table and move next door. You stay — and elect him commander-in-chief. That’s America.”

Something positive

“Two things happened last night,” said Conan O’Brien on his TBS show. “Donald Trump got elected president, and my job just got easier for the next four years.”


 

 

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