By Fr. Tirso Villaverde
Pastor of St. Bartholomew Parish
Recently, various people on various occasions have asked me questions regarding Catholic marriage, divorce, and annulments. Looking back to prior articles, I realized that I have never explored the subject in this column so I thought I would take the opportunity to share some thoughts with readers who might have similar questions.
First of all, in the Catholic faith, a marriage is a covenant between a man and a woman who presumably have both been baptized Catholic. However, it is allowed that a baptized Catholic marry a non-Catholic. But, as the Catholic party, it is his or her duty to marry according to the regulations of the Catholic Church. The reason for this is simply because marriage is an expression of one’s Catholic faith. If someone is going to claim the name of Catholic, one’s life must reflect that faith in every way. The ceremony can take place in a non-Catholic church but the Catholic party does have the obligation of making certain that the proper dispensations and/or permissions have been granted in order for a marriage ceremony to take place outside of a Catholic ceremony. This is simply done by making the arrangements with one’s parish priest.
But, getting back to the nature of marriage, in the Catholic understanding, marriage is a lifelong covenant. As a covenant, it is a serious vow that the husband and wife make with each other. The nature of a covenant goes beyond simply a contractual agreement between two people. A covenant binds the parties to each other in a relationship that is mutually life-giving and has serious consequences for the one who breaks the covenantal relationship.
In the time of the Old and New Testaments, a covenant was entered into by two people who were mentally, spiritually, and emotionally mature. Upon making the covenant, the parties involved thereupon entered into a lifelong relationship with each other that was mutually beneficial. The covenant also had a religious element in that it was ratified by God in some way, either through a sacrifice offered or even a sign from heaven.
In the Old Testament, God made a covenant with His people that He would be their God and they would be His people. God was faithful to this covenant but His people were not. In the Gospels, Jesus became the sign of a new and everlasting covenant that God entered into with His people. In Jesus, there is a lasting bond of love between Jesus and the Church, the New People of God. In St. Paul’s letters, marriage becomes a sign of Christ’s love for his Church. Seen in this way, marriage becomes an extension and an expression of God’s covenant with His people. Just as God has promised to remain faithful to His people even to eternity, a husband and wife mirror that fidelity by promising to be faithful to each other “until death do us part.”
It is for this very reason that marriage is a serious matter in the Catholic Church. Sometimes, people have complained that there are too many “requirements” to get married in the Catholic Church which they say, at times, forces them to take the “easier way out” by getting married civilly or in any other way besides the norm. Yes, there is a good amount of paperwork that needs to be gathered before a marriage can take place. Yes, there are times when the process can be delayed especially when there are previous marriages involved. Yes, there is the requirement that the couple participate in marriage preparation sessions such as Pre-Cana or the like. However, there is a reason to all of it.
If marriage is a covenant where two people are expected to understand fully the responsibilities that come with it, it becomes necessary to take the time to explain this commitment to each couple. The man and the woman need to understand and agree that marriage is a religious relationship that imposes on them the responsibility of being faithful to each other for the rest of their lives, to give each other the right to bring children into the world, and to accept this obligation freely and without being forced in any way. In order for both the bride and groom to understand fully the nature of marriage, the two must both give their consent freely and comprehend the duties they assume if the marriage is to be a true and lasting relationship. Otherwise, there is something seriously missing and could prove to be a hindrance in the foreseeable future.
In the Catholic understanding, a marriage is a relationship built on the love between a man and a woman that helps to bring life into the world. In other words, it must be life-giving for both the husband and wife as well as open to bringing new life into the world. In this way, the husband and wife become a sacrament of Christ’s love for his people. If Christ gave up his life for the life of the Church, the husband and wife promise to be like Christ for each other for the sake of God’s People, the Church. As all Christians well know, to imitate the life of Christ is no small matter. For any Christian, it requires a serious commitment on one’s part in order for one to be like Christ for the whole world. It is precisely for this very same reason that the Catholic Church painstakingly takes steps to insure that a man and a woman enter into a marriage covenant fully aware of the promise they make to each other before God.
There will be more on marriage, divorce, and annulments in the next article.